QuestionsEver wish you could disappear?To melt into the backgroundWhere no one could see you?I've wished that wishEspecially at times when it seemedThat my voice wasn't being heard,White noise against the earsOf those that I wanted to hear meI think it's becasue I help so manyWith their problems firstAnd I worry about my own secondIt's because they see me asThe loving elder sisterAnd not some fragile crybabyMeanwhile, the truth is that ICan barely handle my problemsSo how is it that someone unstable,Like myself,Comfort those younger than me andDry the tears of those who are crying?How can someone that is angered easilyCalm those who are breaking downOr pick up one who has fallen?These are questions that IDon't know the answer toSo how can those that I've helpedKnow the answer to them all?
Write My WordsI browse through others artworkSeemingly harmless and innocentAnd I just want to cryMy hands were not gifted like themI cannot create other worlds with a brushI can't bring someone to life with a penMy fingers refuse to curl around a pencilI can't use a camera, hands too shakyOr too crappy a cameraI just stare at my hands and wonder"What can I create?"And now, now I finally realizeI have my wordsWith my words shall create the pictureI shall instill a mental image like none otherI will make my reader thinkI will make my reader come back for moreI shall make these hands createI will hold that brushI will grip that penI'll force my fingers to curl around that pencilYet not to paint or drawBut to write my words
ExpectationsWhy do so many peopleSeem to like the simple writingOf an average teenage girl?They say I'm good,Some say I'm amazing,Some say I make it look easyBut I'm just a teenagerHow can I rank up thereWith those that have beenWriting for so much longer?I just don't see it...Can someone please clarify?My over-active imaginationIs what fuels my many ideasMy daydreaming mindStokes the growing flamesOf what my ideas grow to beThere's nothing wrong withAn over-active imaginationAnd a daydreaming mindI'm just afraidAfraid that I won't live upTo everyone's expectations
NumbI look at my reflection in your eyesAnd I wonder what is going onInside your mind, behind your gazeDo you see what I see?Do you feel the fusions of emotionsThat I see ripple in your eyes like water?Or are you blind to your own feelings,Numb against the pain I can see?I want to help youBut you keep pulling awayFrom my outstretched handYou don't realize that I careAnd that I want to help
I May Never KnowI may never know how it will feelTo hold your hand, hear your heartAnd stand next to youI may never know what can causeYour lips to crack a smileAnd a laugh to bubble up from withinI may never know what it isThat goes on inside your head andWhat knowledge hides behind your eyesI may never know what thingsYour hands have created and doneI may never knowWhat kind of pain you went through andWhat has caused you to cryI may never know how it will beTo share a promise
Remedy-EDITEDCan't I not feel so empty?There must be somethingThat can fill this holeAnd wash away the darkI've tried love and I've never found itI've tried a choir and no joy has comeThere is musicBut it is only temporaryThe warmth of the bright sunCannot warm my chilled soulThe cool glow of the moonCannot extinguish the passionI nurse inside myselfI start to writeMy pen making scratching noisesI start to drawThe pencil becoming smaller as time goes onThen a realization hits meThat daydreaming seems to beThe only working remedy
Addicted to MusicI've become addicted to musicI can't survive throughout my dayIf I don't have my iPod on high,Blasting into my ear canalThe beats from my songsThrum to the beat of my heartMy blood rushes to the bassMy heart thuds to the drumsMy muscles respon to the guitarAnd my thoughts are controlledBy the various singersThat I keep contained inside the iPodI fall asleep to the rythmes producedI relax to the lovely lyricsYes, I have truely become addicted
White RabbitThe temptation to follow thatWhite RabbitCan Cause more problems than you think.Its red eyes piercing into you,That cloudiness in them that seems to readYour every thought, every move.Dashing away, you chase after itAnd think it will cause you no harm.It dives down into the supposed safety of its hole.You lean your head down into the dusty darknessThen slip and stumble down into the unknown;Into your own madness.The temptation to follow thatWhite RabbitCan Cause more problems than you think.
The Piano and the ViolinI hear a piano whenever I see youWhy that instrument, I'm not sureCould it be the harmonies it creates?The calming sounds it releases?The beautiful rythmes produced?It could be the delicate fingersThat dance on the keys,The passion behind ones eyesAs they create such wonderous soundsIt makes my heart swellTo compare you to such an angelic toneAnd when I look into myselfI hear a violinIt's an equally beatiful sound but,If pressured, it can sound horridIt is a fragile instrumentOne mishap and it's destroyedAnd I just think,What would happen ifThe piano and violinWere to sound together?
___words are no longer enough
UnsaidYou came to me on a ThursdayAsked me how I wasI didn't know what to sayBut I smiled just becauseWe hadn't spoken in years it feltI knew you thought the sameDespite the time, I still meltWhenever you say my nameIt had been your choice to goAnd leave me here alone'Together' could no longer grow;You'd ripped out all we'd sewn. Since then we have drifted apartYour awkward grin can't lieI smiled, but it hurt my heartWhen we whispered our goodbyeAnd with that simple, final wordSo much was left unsaidAs I turned away, my world was blurredWith tears I'd never shed.
this isthe sky is rude,i never sleep and there's a constant ringingin my ears; i'm trying to feather-light like feathers and collapsing on air.collapsing on air and speaking rhyme;the sky is rude,hey, touchy sea, I'll write to you.no, never; i'm too busy dripping from theceilings in a mess of clueless confusion ofcluelessly confused confusion, hangingconfused.the sky is rude,i never sleep and there's a constant-
ScreamsI watched darkness cross over into our world,Ready to claim a new victimSilent screams tear through the nightScreams that send a shiver right down to the boneThose on their deathbeds hear itThey know what they areThe screams of the deadMoving through the night, serving as a warning bellServing as Death's call, and a warning of what's to comeA messageThose victims know what the screams mean, know what it says"It will be sooner than you think."It terrifies them,Makes them want to cover their ears and hide beneath the oceans murky depthsTo immerse themselves in doubtTo hide from reality for a momentEven if it means giving oneself false hopeEven if it means refusing to say good byeAnd even if it means living with painLiving with it for another dayIt can be seen as denial,No acceptance of the inevitableOr it can be seen as strength,The strength and bravery to continue yet another dayThe ability to keep on fightingEven if it's a fight they won't winIn the end, it al
a thousand timesif i wrote you a thousand words-would you read them all?if i sang you a thousand songs-would you listen to every one?if i kissed you a thousand times-would you still kiss me back?if i gave you a thousand hugs-would each one be special?if i changed my mind a thousand times-would you still love me?
Letting GoLetting go of youis not like being a spiderwhose limbs have been torn free,who spends its nightsremembering how to scuttleacross the plains of your room,tormented by the slow,unfurling thought of stretching.It is like being those limbswho, without an outline to embody,are completely devoid of purpose.
GatewaysOpenings to a spirit:Natural, raw, dazzling.Tranquil on the surface,Seemingly undaunted by life,A stronghold of substance.Beneath this exteriorLies quiet, genuine dignity.Lucid intelligence pours forth,Clashing with chaos.Tracking deeper-Fresh agony overwhelms the soul,Mending is not undertaken.Nearly hidden scars criss-cross the depths,Remnants of undeserved torment.But in the face of anguishDelicate grace flourishes. . .Perpetual, yet fragile.The exploration is euphoric and polarized:Burgeoning hope and delight for the spirit's beauty,Floods of compassion for its unchecked distress.Though joy is formed,It collides with sorrow.The honest, true, pure soul is chainedTo outward ideals.Vulnerable and insecure,Generous and diligent.Unequaled.To examine these openings is to feelPermanent, everlasting appreciation.
loving liesThey say love is a game,many cards and dice;it's so easy to lie -these words should suffice.we'll still be friends(find me someone new)i'm utterly over it(i completely need you)no, you're my first love(you think that i care?)i'll look away(like i won't stare)i've terrible allergies(i'm crying, you fool)not on the first date(you're just a tool)i'm fine, you go on(don't leave me alone)you dialed the wrong number(i turned off my phone)i'm just so exhausted(please go away)i don't mind at all(this time you'll pay)i think it's cute(you're an embarrassing lout)only if you want to(just fuck and get out)
I'm FineLeaning against your wallHaving conversations with myself.Why do you have to yell?Didn't I always always treat you well?The ocean kissed my cheekThe wind tickling at my feetAnd I'm
thinking about timeWhen you told me told me I was fine.So why
do I stutterI stutter all the goddamn time.Now I'mLeaning against your wallHaving conversations with myself.Why do you have to yell?Didn't I always always treat you well?The rain clutched to handI think I should start a bandDrinking mountain dewThinking up some words to say to you.The roses call your nameEven God said he felt your painSo I'mLeaning against your wallHaving conversations with myself.Why do you have to yell?Didn't I always always treat you well?The ocean kissed my cheekStarting to fell kinda kinda weak.Pirates feed my mindMaybe I'm going going blind.I whisper to myselfIs the road that goes to hell?Standing at your doorHaving conversations with myself.Why do you have to yell?Didn't I always
FlawedThere are rows and rows of girlsEach one more perfect then the one beforeThere's no way you can see me in this perfect crowdWhy would you choose me?Such a flawed messA girl who can't keep a secretWho uses sarcasm way too muchWho can't take criticismWho is too impatient to list more.A never ending listButThe worst flaw inside meIs that somehowIn all of my stupidityI still hope that you will look pastEvery one of my flawsAnd love me.
When we were godswe cursed our parents, blessedour insecurities--and men--those fools--strew our templeswith forget-me-nots, billet-doux.We peddled destinies, Sister--the world turned goldenas we billowed--bled--into sky.But then--Men--became wise--cruel--defiled our templeswith Time, clipped our wings,taught us to fearfalling--from heights--for boys half our age.Mortal, we flounderthrough halls--trip into another god's tomb--heads bowed, eyes open,feathers stuffed in pockets,dreaming aboutthat dashing sensationwhich blooms upon flight.
I Love You LessYa know I loved youFrom my very first breath.Maybe a bit too roughlyBecause I loved you to Death.You know I must beOut of breath.Getting a little rustyBecause I broke your neck.Somebody stop me!Before I slash your chest.You know it's not free.It's not a test.Do you think it's easyJust to let you rest?Because you complete meAnd I love you to Death.Some say I'm crazy.Covered in blood.But I've been feelin' latelyLike a sane man should.Your body makes meFeel so damn good.Can't believe I found youSo cold and alone.Now I have toGet you on your own.Don't you know I love you?Though I must confess,That I can't wait toMake a bloody mess.Don't you know, girlThat I'll love you to Death?